Remember “Kids Say the Darndest Things?” Great show. Would love to see that back. But what people say in court could be quite competitive with what kids say.
Had an application for court-appointed attorney. Let’s say it’s from Jeff who is charged with a felony. The application is denied because he lists $60,000 in clear assets. So I have him at the bench to tell him why it was denied, whereupon he says “I don’t got that no more … my wife sold everything.” Hmmm, what’s up, I think. So I quiz him. Property is gone, money is gone and does not know where wife (call her Brenda) is.
OK, he now qualifies, having told me this sad tale under oath. Then we notice on his application that the wife listed was Wilma. I had already sent him back to the holding cell. “Wait, Prew (deputy/bailiff), we need him back” and here he comes. “I’m confused. What’s your wife’s name?” I ask. “Wilma” he says. “But you told me your wife was Brenda” says I.
“Brenda is my wife. Wilma is my ‘baby mama’ who I live with. That’s why my wife sold all my stuff and left.”
And he did not seem to have been real surprised at that result.
He’s indigent. He gets the lawyer.